GLOAT TIME

I received an acceptance letter from Sarah Lawrence College into the MFA Creative Writing program the other day........I can't quite believe it. I was rejected by Brooklyn College and New School, so I was feeling pretty crappy about it and wondering what the heck I was going to do with myself next year and I was getting old and felt I couldn't go on--and then Wed. evening I returned from work to find a FAT envelope sitting in the mailbox. I never believed the whole fat envelope skinny envelope thing since I didn't get a fat one from my undergrad schools and I was accepted into those. I tore the thing open and pulled out all the papers and read the letter and read the letter again (to make sure) and let out a scream which brought Kevin, Kara Daniel, Brian, Mike to see and I really couldn't believe it.

When I called Tom about it, his coworkers sang "For She's a Jolly Good Fellow" and shouted at me through the phone.

Thomas said: "Make sure you gloat. And don't gloat like a Mennonite; gloat like a Baptist."

So.

I admit I am feeling a little superior towards BC and NS. SLC is rather selective--and said so in the letter. Besides that, it was my first choice.

So.

I did redirect my application at BC to the MA in English. This is before I found out about SLC. For a while I've thought about that, and what I should do. I thought: maybe this is a sign or something.

But I got into f-ing SLC!

In celebration the other night, Tom and I had a very Christopher-like late night repast of tortellini, pesto, grated parmesean, wine with candlelight.

And Ben and Jerry's.

So, here I am at work, feeling and being useless. Not that I don't have things to do, but I am waiting for other people to get things done and they aren't for one reason or another. I'm feeling bad yet I think: hey, I'm a volunteer! Not that I'm going to totally just hang around doing nothing...

Right now one of the other volunteers is on the phone, which is certainly a personal call, and I think he's using the church long distance code. Hmmm...

There are some high school kids painting my soon to be office during their spring break. Pretty nice people, although they're playing the music a little loud...

Okay, enough of that.

The other day a man got on the L train who was carrying pieces of a flute. I was sitting at the time, he stood in front of me, which was no big deal except for the fact he was nodding out (for the unintiated, that's the high taking effect) and stumbing all over the place and into everyone. I could just see him falling into my lap. Luckily, he didn't.

Last night I was teaching my ESOL class, and a couple of difficult-to-pronounce words came up, at least for Hispanic and Japanese speakers: comprehension and humiliation. When this happens, I have them look at my mouth and I say the words syllable by syllable. COM-PRE-HEN-SION COM-PRE-HEN-SION COM-PRE-HEN-SION COM-PRE-HEN-SION HU-MIL-I-A-TION HU-MIL-I-A-TION HU-MIL-I-A-TION. Then I have them follow me. COM-PRE-HEN-SION COM-PRE-HEN-SION COM-PRE-HEN-SION HU-MIL-I-A-TION HU-MIL-I-A-TION HU-MIL-I-A-TION. For a good ten minutes we were saying this in a chant-like manner. It was hilarious. When I said I should write a chant for them, they looked confused. I tried to explain what exactly chant meant, which led to a discussion on Native Americans, which led to talking about pow-wows. The SIO and THO and OUGH sounds are very hard for them. I have no idea what to do but have them chant. I'm probably breaking some sacred ESOL rule. But everyone was laughing and having a good time. They were chanting as they walked out the door. It was great. I'm going to try to write a chant.

Carlos, my UNO fellow, has yet to appear for afterschool sessions, so I'm safe for the time being...

I'm listening to my Black Crowes CD, which I found after Ben moved out for college. Sorry Ben! It's all mine now. I remember feeling like such an evil person then, listening to nonchristian music.

Smallness Take Two

Both Kevin and I (the KS connection) have seen Michael W. Smith in concert at the Kansas Collesium.

Talked to Mum on the phone last night re the church. It was basically a loss at about 2 million. They're having services in the high school auditorium, and the school has offered it to Big MB for the next 2 years. She also said there's been renewed vitality in the congregation. A lot of lay people have really stepped up and taken leadership. She says people in the church have opened up to one another in a whole new way.

I really feel like I've been churchy-talky of late, when I don't see myself that way at all...

I haven't heard anything from about the church fire. Get this on how small the world is: there's a guy here at my new job who was born in Hillsboro, then moved to McPherson (about 45 min from Hillsboro--his parents still live there) and is good friends with a guy from Tabor College who married a woman I went to high school with, AND his dad who sings in the Mennonite Men's Chorus, possibly was at Big MB when the fire started.

Today I made a bet with a 10 year old. We were playing UNO, and I was on a winning streak, so, when Carlos suggested we make a bet with the final round, i of course agreed. I don't know if this was a good idea morally, but you know...

His bet was that "I will always do my homework and not fool around."

Mine was "I will stuff 8 jet-puff marshmallows in my mouth."

Five minutes later, I was trounced.

I was so angry at Ralph Nader I sent him this letter via email--it sounds a bit self-righteous but that's how I feel at the moment:

Dear Sir-

The fact that you are running again for president is, how shall I say this--appalling. Not to mention grand-standing, self-serving, etc. I voted for you in 2000--I will never do it again. And it is not because I am not in agreement with many of your stances politically, or the fact that this country should have more than one party running. It is because we need to get rid of the "compassionate conservative" that is in the White House today. We must elect a democrat to try to regain respect in the global community, restructure our failing economy, stop this anti-gay and lesbian diatribe--need I say more? I am not fooled by the democrats' statements that all is perfect in their party. But the past four years have shown how much more imperfect the republican party is. Funding for Head Start has been slashed (in spite of "no child left behind), jobs are being lost, taxes for the rich are cut yet average americans pay the bills for the military prowess of our nation--instead of for programs that will help them in their day-to-day lives. I work with people daily who have been affected by this man we call president. My husband is an outreach worker with users in a needle exchange program--which Bush would like to eliminate. The people who suffer are not you or I, but the under-paid, over-ignored classes that serve our french fries for a few dollars an hour. These are amazing people. I am honored to work with them. Change must come, yes. I believe it must come. But it must come slowly, and not hurt the ones it is meant to serve, which is what I believe you may do if you pull Kerry supporters to your side and consequently, put Bush back in again. Act locally, think globally. Work to get small politcians in office. They can make a difference.

That is all.

I wonder sometimes if I'm fit to be a mother becuase the kids I work with drive me nuts sometimes. For example, I told Billy to shut up last week! I couldn't believe it. I felt horrible for days after. It reminded me of the fuck you! incident back in August or September (see archives) And then one day I soundly beat a girl at UNO, and I think I hurt her feelings becuase she didn't want to play anymore. I like all of them, and they are fun to be with, but I'm always glad when their mamas come get them. ESOL is very cool. I like teaching and talking with them. It's a weird juxtaposition (million dollar word) how I work with kids who don't want to do homework to teaching adults who love it.

Speaking of motherhood, I have been asked at least three times in as many weeks if I'm going to have kids. It's not MY biological clock ticking, it's everyone else's.

Well, my hometown (hillsboro, ks--Mennonite Brethren) church burned down yesterday, as well as a house next door. No one was hurt. They aren't sure what started it (it began in the sanctuary), but a thought is that it was the furnace--although arson isn't ruled out. Someone tried to a few years ago. My mother said on the phone last night: "I'm sure there are plenty of people glad to see it go." It was a huge fire, apparently. The church spans basically half a block, thus the local nickname, "Big MB". Everything is gone. Up in smoke, if you will. That's horrible, I know. Even though I haven't really been there for about 7 years now, and I have issues with the church as a whole, it still is pretty sad. I spent a lot of my life at that church--i was baptized there (full immersion for you sprinkling heretics out there--hee hee), I am still officially a member, youth group, etc. And there a lot of friends that go there, and good old grandmothers who know more about my family history than I do. A lot of fiery debris was floating around, and started grass fires in places. My family's house is about a block and a half away, and my mum spent most of the afternoon hosing down the house and yard and choking on smoke. While my dad, a fire chaser alll his life--one of my first memories is him carrying out furniture of a burning house--was there getting furniture and taking pictures.

Passion of Crap

Okay, so it's a little harsh. I'm not saying you shouldn't see this movie, but be forewarned. Frankly, I think it's an excuse for Gibson to have "Christian" violence, hints of anti-semitism and mysoginy (guess which gender Satan is, with a snake slithering through her legs--slightly fallic, I think--might as well have an apple in her hand, though there is a spooky baby) and a Jesus that I have no connection with at all. And it's hailed by the Gary Wiens and James Dobsons of the world as a true description of the suffering of Christ. Never mind Gibson pulled out his story from all of the Gospels, which all tell the tale in different ways. But the thing I think really did it in for me, was the fact that we never really know why Christ was killed in the first place. No real concentration on the Sermon on the Mount, no healing, no parables, no widows giving her little for the temple. Of course in the movie we have the stoning of the prostitute, which happens to be Mary M., though there is no proof she was the prostitute. And the fact that the resurrection is given about five seconds at the end. Never mind that's what made Christianity a belief system. The fact that Christ destroyed death, that he spoke of it and actually did it--that is the Jesus I know.