A Unicorn Saves Religion As We Know It
This evening I finally won an argument with Christopher aka the celibate atheist philosopher. To recount the entire exchange would be as insane as the conversation, so I'll tell how it began and how it ended:
It began with Christopher's horror at my having taken communion at a Catholic mass. It was at the SOA, I cried. That's as liberal as you can get! But transubstansiation!!! he cried back. We then got into a discussion of the pros and cons of Vatican II--mind you, it's two white bread Menno kids talking. I'm all for Vatican II. Christopher is for the ignorance of the masses in their chants and the truth of the Word.
It ended when he accused me of believing in multiple Gods--of Gods that don't exist anyway. I countered that in Islam there are 99 names for God, and the camel knows the 100th. There are several faces to God. And I agree, and add that all our ideas about God have made these different Gods. This point mystified him. He began to draw a diagram, which is his way for stalling for time, he tells me. He said that unicorns don't exist, yet we have names in many languages for them. Couldn't it be the same for God? He says that though Allah and God and Gott and The One Who Has No Name and Jesus are names for the same deity, it doesn't make it exist. You couldn't give God the name of unicorn. Neither exist.
And I say, but unicorns do exist. Not in the way Disney has made them. In medieval times, a unicorn was thought a kind of goat-creature. Whoever killed this unicorn would be blessed and made clean by the blood. So, the unicorn becomes a figure of Christ.
At that, Christopher says he has to think about that one. He's going to have a beer and rethink his whole philosophy-career.
I don't know if logically I made any sense, but I confused him and myself enough to feel that I won.
Tuesday, October 07, 2003
Saturday, October 04, 2003
The Coat Drama in One Act
Scene: A crowded upperclass thrift store. People are unsuccessfully attempting to haggle, despite signs to the contrary. A shortish woman-child in a denim coat, J Lo sweat pants and red hair is wandering the aisle SL. She sees a rack of coats SR, and heads in that direction. A few women have beaten her to it, and are trying them on in front of the only mirror in sight.
WOMAN 1 (trying an orange coat)
It's rather orange.
WOMAN 2
Yes. You just have to be the sorbe of the orange. Feel the orange. Then you can pull it off.
WOMAN 3 (butting in front of WOMAN 1 and 2 who go to the checkout CS.)
Do you think it makes my butt to big?
WOMAN 4
Yes. But is that a bad thing? (hollers) Henry, what do you think?
(an obviously gay man standing SL comes to the mirror)
HENRY
The bigger the better. You have an hourglass figure, honey. Show it off!
WOMAN 4
I think he sees us as we really are. He sees the beauty in us. We always see the bad parts.
HENRY
And I have the same issues when it comes to myself.
WOMAN 4
It's all about your point of view. Get the coat. Thanks Henry!
(The women head to the checkout. HENRY exits SR. WOMAN-CHILD steps in front of the mirror. She has selected a coat. It is nearly floor-length, black, fits perfectly. She looks at the price tag. She takes the coat off and puts it back on the hanger. Is about to put it back on the rack, but hesitates. Puts it on again. Looks at the tag. Sighs. Puts it back on the rack in resolution. Repeats wear-hang-up series once more. Looks around. Sees a woman approaching. The woman is looking at WOMAN-CHILD. Looks at the coat. WOMAN-CHILD takes the coat off the rack. HENRY enters SR, carrying a load of clothes. WOMAN-CHILD watches him hanging up the clothes. He fusses to himself.)
HENRY
Can't anybody put anything away right?
WOMAN-CHILD
Excuse me. Can I put this on hold, even for a day?
HENRY
Sorry, hon. It's a Saturday. Our busiest day.
(HENRY resumes his work. WOMAN-CHILD wanders the store aimlessly. Finally she walks with resolution to the checkout. WOMAN 4 is in front of her. Finally WOMAN-CHILD reaches the register. LAD rings up her purchase.)
LAD
$65.18
(WOMAN-CHILD produces her checkbook.)
LAD
We don't take checks.
(WOMAN-CHILD looks up at him.)
WOMAN-CHILD
Are you serious.
LAD
Yeah.
WOMAN-CHILD
Well. I don't have any cash. Forget it then.
(Exits SL without looking back.)
END
Postscript: I actually did run home and get the cash. I thought not getting the coat had a more dramatic effect. It didn't exactly happen as above--once again, drama drama drama. The conversations did all occur though not in the way depicted.
Scene: A crowded upperclass thrift store. People are unsuccessfully attempting to haggle, despite signs to the contrary. A shortish woman-child in a denim coat, J Lo sweat pants and red hair is wandering the aisle SL. She sees a rack of coats SR, and heads in that direction. A few women have beaten her to it, and are trying them on in front of the only mirror in sight.
WOMAN 1 (trying an orange coat)
It's rather orange.
WOMAN 2
Yes. You just have to be the sorbe of the orange. Feel the orange. Then you can pull it off.
WOMAN 3 (butting in front of WOMAN 1 and 2 who go to the checkout CS.)
Do you think it makes my butt to big?
WOMAN 4
Yes. But is that a bad thing? (hollers) Henry, what do you think?
(an obviously gay man standing SL comes to the mirror)
HENRY
The bigger the better. You have an hourglass figure, honey. Show it off!
WOMAN 4
I think he sees us as we really are. He sees the beauty in us. We always see the bad parts.
HENRY
And I have the same issues when it comes to myself.
WOMAN 4
It's all about your point of view. Get the coat. Thanks Henry!
(The women head to the checkout. HENRY exits SR. WOMAN-CHILD steps in front of the mirror. She has selected a coat. It is nearly floor-length, black, fits perfectly. She looks at the price tag. She takes the coat off and puts it back on the hanger. Is about to put it back on the rack, but hesitates. Puts it on again. Looks at the tag. Sighs. Puts it back on the rack in resolution. Repeats wear-hang-up series once more. Looks around. Sees a woman approaching. The woman is looking at WOMAN-CHILD. Looks at the coat. WOMAN-CHILD takes the coat off the rack. HENRY enters SR, carrying a load of clothes. WOMAN-CHILD watches him hanging up the clothes. He fusses to himself.)
HENRY
Can't anybody put anything away right?
WOMAN-CHILD
Excuse me. Can I put this on hold, even for a day?
HENRY
Sorry, hon. It's a Saturday. Our busiest day.
(HENRY resumes his work. WOMAN-CHILD wanders the store aimlessly. Finally she walks with resolution to the checkout. WOMAN 4 is in front of her. Finally WOMAN-CHILD reaches the register. LAD rings up her purchase.)
LAD
$65.18
(WOMAN-CHILD produces her checkbook.)
LAD
We don't take checks.
(WOMAN-CHILD looks up at him.)
WOMAN-CHILD
Are you serious.
LAD
Yeah.
WOMAN-CHILD
Well. I don't have any cash. Forget it then.
(Exits SL without looking back.)
END
Postscript: I actually did run home and get the cash. I thought not getting the coat had a more dramatic effect. It didn't exactly happen as above--once again, drama drama drama. The conversations did all occur though not in the way depicted.
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